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How to become the Quintessential Gentleman

Here at MenStylePower, we’re finding a great distance between the men and women that we speak to on a daily basis.

Women are moaning more and more, and it’s not in ecstasy. They’re upset with the lack of consideration and respect in their relationships with men; from the office to the home.

In turn, the Men are frustrated by the lack of respect they get from women, so they sit back and become complacent, blaming the feminist movement, saying that women should not expect anything but equal treatment and the occasional tackle and shove is standard fare. After all, it is survival of the fittest and equality means we’re all on the same level, just in opposing teams, right?


When women demand that men treat them better, and men retreat to their castles in annoyance (or shove women aside on the bus line), the result is an outright gender cold war and a strange madness which leaves neither man nor woman satisfied. In tearing each other down and refusing to respect one another, we’re losing the joy that comes when we truly uplift each other.

From boardrooms to bedrooms, we’re crying out for mutual respect

Either way, MenStylePower is keen to encourage modern men to take heart. To realize that being a gentleman could actually soften a woman’s hard resistance and bring out a softer side in her.

Men are generally physically more powerful than women (but equal to them mentally, spiritually and intellectually), so when men seek to protect and nurture the women around them; at work, at home and in friendships, they can in time, begin to see women respect them for the controlled power they show.

Robert E. Lee, thought to be one of the greatest general of the Civil War had this to say about the art of gentleman-ship: “The power which the strong have over the weak, the magistrate over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly – the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or the total absence of it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in plain light.  The gentleman does not needlessly or unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him.  He can, not only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be the past. A true gentleman of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.”

But is the gentleman weak? We say “Nein!”. He is stronger for tethering in his power and channeling it for good, for protection and for justice.

The G is also a strong warrior who lives by rules of honour, of duty … the warrior’s code.

The Warrior’s Code:

1/ Courage: Being a knight often means choosing the more difficult path, the personally expensive one. Be prepared to make personal sacrifices in service of the precepts and people you value. At the same time, a knight should seek wisdom. Courage also means taking the side of truth in all matters, rather than seeking the quick lie.

2/ Faith: A knight must have faith in his beliefs, for faith roots him and gives hope against the despair that humanity creates.

3/ Humility: To firstly value the contributions of others; do not boast of your own accomplishments, let others do this for you. Praise others often and exalt them above yourself, acknowledging the great things they have done.

4/ Generosity: Be generous in so far as your resources allow; kindness used in this way counters greed. It also makes the path of mercy easier to make out when a difficult decision of justice is required.

5/ Nobility: Seek always to be a man of great character by holding onto self respect, realizing that although all your goals may not be reached in this lifetime the quality of striving towards them ennobles the spirit, growing the character. Nobility has the tendency to influence others, offering a compelling example of what can be done in the service of doing the right thing.

And finally we leave you with another excerpt from the revered Robert E Lee – his take on “Conducting yourself in a manner that befits a Gentleman”:

Always present a positive attitude and be willing to offer assistance to others. In offering assistance, be sure it is for ethical, honorable activities. A Gentleman will never use foul language in front of women and children, or discuss improper topics in front of them. A gentleman never makes sexually suggestive issues or jokes. A gentleman avoids discussing personal hygiene issues of a nature that are definitely private; to speak of brushing ones teeth is acceptable, but bodily functions such as flatulence and other bowel movements are to be left alone. Gossip in general should be avoided as it is never good to spread this kind of information and it sets a poor example for children.

Agree? Or not agree? We’d love to hear your thoughts.

FYI: This article has been excerpted from the soon to be released ‘Style Power’ Book. We hope that as you’ve absorbed what we think constitutes a real G, you’ve also enjoyed these quintessential gentlemanly threads from the House of Ralph Lauren – exquisite suiting and casual wear.


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